Do you want the perfect plan, a guarantee that if you work harder, study more, check and double check everything, you will be able to avoid making mistakes?
Well, unfortunately you won’t find those answers here. If the headline caught your eye though, it’s a good indication that you’re probably more of a perfectionist than you’d like to admit.
Striving towards perfectionism is an admirable trait, it means you’re dedicated, determined and willing to put in the long hours and hard work to make sure you get it right. It’s probably those exact traits that make you a very good vet. But at what cost?
As much as we’d like to be perfect, we’re human and we make mistakes. Yes sometime even very costly mistakes. And it’s not really making the mistakes that’s the biggest problem, it’s how we handle them that is the issue. If we believe that we have to be perfect, what happens when we’re not? Shame, self-doubt, withdrawal, or depression? It’s a slippery slope if we allow those thoughts to take root. Yet they do so easily when we make even the smallest of mistakes.
It doesn’t have to be perfect to be good
By definition perfectionism (according to Frost et al) is:“the setting of excessively high standards for performance accompanied by overly critical self-evaluation”. Now ascribing to high standards is admirable and so is continual self-improvement, but it’s the excessive part that’s the problem and the fact that many perfectionists become obsessive in their efforts to get things right all of the time.
It leaves a sense that you’re never good enough and this self-doubt can hinder your career. Perhaps a promotion or job offer comes up but you turn it down because you don’t think you have enough experience or the right surgical skills, when in fact you could be an ideal candidate.
Perhaps you turn down an opportunity to mentor a junior colleague because you keep reminding yourself of the mistakes you’ve made. But have you considered how valuable it would be to them if they could avoid making the same mistakes by learning from yours. Perhaps in sharing your experiences they’ll actually respect you more. You may be surprised to find a release for yourself as well. The pressure’s off, you don’t have to be perfect, you just need to be able to learn from your mistakes.
You can’t move forward, looking backwards
John Maxwell, a well-known leadership speaker and author talks about failing forward, using mistakes as a catalyst for learning and moving forward. No-one drives constantly looking in the rear view mirror, yet that’s what perfectionism does to us. It focuses on the mistake, obsesses over it until the shame of it paralyses us and prevents us from progressing.
Brene Brown is a noted speaker and research authority on the subjects of vulnerability, shame, courage and authenticity. She makes the statement: “When perfectionism is driving, shame is always riding shotgun and fear is the annoying backseat driver.” Think about that for a moment. Think back to your last mistake, what did you feel? Was it shame? Was it fear?
The veterinary profession is known for high stress and anxiety levels and a lot of this is due to the mistaken belief that vets have, that they need to be perfect. The reality is that perfection is impossible. As a vet you need to accept that you won’t get it right 100% of the time. Patients die, sometimes they don’t respond well to recommended treatment plans. A mistake doesn’t make you a bad vet. But hiding from a mistake, or being too scared to talk about it isn’t healthy, in fact it can be soul destroying. Especially if you let the fear and shame take root.
It’s time to change the culture
Rather than striving towards perfectionism, a healthier approach is to develop a culture of learning and open communication in the practice where you work. This approach takes the pressure off. It says that it’s okay to ask a question if you’re unsure of a diagnosis. It’s okay to admit you don’t know the answer. It’s okay to admit you’re overtired and not coping with the volume of cases. It’s okay to be vulnerable and admit to making a mistake.
Because the mistake is not the end, it’s the beginning. The experience, including everything you did and felt becomes the platform for learning. And when you share that with colleagues it not only helps you deal with what happened, it allows them to learn from your experience too. If nothing else it can alleviate the anxiety they’re feeling but are too scared to admit.
Veterinary professionals are highly intelligent and driven individuals and they frequently push themselves to the limit because they feel they have to be perfect. Wouldn’t it be better and healthier to rather focus on always learning, rather than striving for perfection? Because learning allows for mistakes, it doesn’t see mistakes as something to be ashamed of, but rather as a stepping stone for something good – honest conversations, vulnerability, learning, progression.
Could you be holding yourself back from achieving your full potential?